Present Moment, Past, and Future Lessons
About this Video:
The speaker reflects on how much of their life was spent anywhere but the present rehashing past failures or worrying about imagined futures while missing the only place life actually happens: now. They recount a painful business memory of a client falling asleep during a pitch, which they once blamed on unfairness but later recognized as a sign of larger issues they ignored. Years of dwelling on regrets or fantasizing about outcomes taught them nothing until a cancer diagnosis forced them to face the reality of limited time. That experience revealed how much life they’d lost by being mentally absent. Now, they focus on the present by asking what can be learned from the past and what can be done right now, keeping their attention on what’s real instead of what’s gone or imagined because the present moment is the only one that truly matters.
Transcription:
Here's something that took me way too long to figure out. I spent most of my life living everywhere except where I actually was. I'd replay past business deals that went sideways or fast forward to some imagined future dreaming about the next big win, or these days catastrophizing about medical outcomes.
Meanwhile, the present, the only place where anything actually happens would just slip by unnoticed. Let me tell you about a moment that still makes me cringe. Decades later, I was trying to renew a big food service contract, big potential client, important meeting, and about 20 minutes in right after lunch, the decision maker literally fell asleep.
During my pitch, I was mortified, but here's what I did. I blamed him. I spent years carrying around anger about how unfairly we've been treated. The truth. He thought he was getting a better deal from our competitor. And if I'd been paying attention to what the moment was actually telling me, instead of nursing my wounded ego, I would've realized it was time to start looking at the viability of my company and the industry we were in.
That realization took me years to reach, years I spent stuck in the past. Instead of learning the lesson years before I made the right move, sell the company. So here's what I've learned about living the past. It only made me sad or angry every time I replayed old disappointments. I wasn't learning from them.
I was just picking at old wounds. In the future, I'm a really good dreamer. Give me a blank canvas and I'll paint you elaborate scenarios about everything that could go right, or these days with my health challenges, everything that could go wrong. But here's the problem. Near the past, nor the future is where life actually happens.
The past is done unchangeable. The future is imaginary. It doesn't exist yet. The only place actually occurs is right now. Reality kicked me in the head. I was diagnosed not with one, but two different types of cancer at the same time. Suddenly, the future wasn't abstract. It was very real and possibly very short.
I discovered that dwelling on all the medical call concerns that might or might not happen served absolutely no one, especially not me. When you're genuinely facing the reality that your time is limited, you realize how much time have you wasted being mentally absent from your own life, all those years, dwelling on past business disappointments.
What a waste. The only thing that isn't a waste is being fully present for whatever time I actually have left. So how do you actually stay present? When I catch myself drifting to the past, I ask, what did I learn from this? Then I let it go. When I drift into the future, I ask, what's the next step I can take?
Right now? I keep my timeframes close. What matters today? This week, the further out I project. The more I'm dealing with imagination instead of reality, here's what this changes, the decisions I need to make become obvious. The actions I can take right now become clear. You can't change yesterday. You can't control tomorrow.
But right now, right now, you can choose where to put your attention and what to do with this moment. I am still learning this, still catching myself dwell in the past or the future, but I'm curious about your experience. What past resentments keep you from being fully present? What future scenarios do you spend time imagining instead of taking action today, why don't you share your story in the comments?
Tell me about the times of living, the past or future got in the way of your happiness, but the present moment. That's where life actually happens. Everything else is just stories we tell ourselves while life passes by. So let's figure this out together and live the life we want. And thanks a lot for stopping by.
I hope to see you back here again really soon.
