Resilience
About this Video:
In this video, the speaker reflects on aging, illness, and the meaning of resilience, sharing his personal journey through cancer, a brain bleed, and the loss of physical abilities he once took for granted. He explains that real resilience isn’t about toughness or denial but about flexibility—accepting reality as it is and adapting to new limitations with honesty and grace. Through his story, he shows that letting go of “shoulds,” embracing constraints, and focusing on what truly matters allows us to build meaningful lives even within hardship. Ultimately, he reminds viewers that life keeps changing, and resilience is how we move forward with clarity, dignity, and humanity.
Transcript:
You know what? Nobody warns you about getting older. It's not the gray hair or reading glasses. It's that moment your body stops taking orders. I had this vision for my seventies skiing every winter, biking all summer, staying active, engaged. Sure I slowed down. But the essential me, the guy who's always been physical and outdoorsy, that would stay the same.
Then I got diagnosed with two aggressive cancers, had a brain bleed, sun skiing was dangerous, biking 30 miles, turning a struggling through 10. My body was making decisions without asking permission. You can't fight it. Be angry, pretend it's not happening, or you can develop resilience to adopt the second option way harder.
And the one that actually works. Here's what people get wrong about resilience. It's not about toughness or positive thinking. Real resilience is flexibility adopting to new realities instead of rigidly. Insisting things should be different. Think about trees in a storm. They're rigid. One’s break.
The flexible ones survive. For me. This meant accepting my activity level needs to change. Some days I have energy, some days I don't. Fighting that reality makes me miserable. Accepting it. That's resilience. I say this a lot. It is what it is. Now, some people think that sound’s the fetus, but it means accepting reality as it exists, not as you wish it.
Were stopping the exhausting work of arguing with facts. I have cancer. It is what it is. Some days I'm exhausted. It is what it is. This isn't resignation. It's clarity. Once you accept what is, you can work with reality instead of fighting it. The exhausting part isn't reality itself. It's that constant internal argument.
This shouldn't be happening. This isn't fair. Why me? Those thoughts don't change anything. They drain your energy. It is what it is. Asks, okay, given what is what now, what does an adaptation look like day to day? For me, building new rhythms instead of planning around blocks of productive time, I work with whatever energy I have.
If I wake up with clarity, I write. If not, I rest without guilt. It's meant letting go of should. I should network more, but honestly, I'd rather spend energy writing or having real conversations with the people I care about. Here's something nobody tells you. Constraints clarify what matters. When capacity is limited, you're forced to choose what actually matters.
Who do you want time with? Sometimes constraints force that clarity. Let me be honest. None of this is easy. There are days I'm angry, days I grieve days. I want to give up. That's normal. That's part of the process. Resilience doesn't mean you never struggle. It means you keep adapting when it's hard, you keep looking for what's possible.
You keep building a meaningful life within constraints. If you're dealing with health changes dramatic like cancer or gradual like aging. Start where you are. Accept what's true about your capacity. Grieve what's changing. Then look for what's still possible. Build new rhythms. Stay present. Focus on what you control.
Life keeps changing whether you're ready or not. Building resilience is how we navigate with grace and dignity. It is what it is and what we do with that, that's where our humanity lives. Let's figure this out together, and while you're at it. Let me know what you think in the comments below.
