Loss and Gain
About this Video:
This video explores how loss isn’t just about what we lose, but what we unknowingly gain in return. Through personal stories and reflection, it reveals how every loss can open space for unexpected growth, change, and resilience.
Transcription:
I’ve been thinking about loss a lot lately. Not in a heavy philosophical way that makes you want to click away, but the real lived experience kind that’s been following me around. Here’s what I’m learning. Loss isn’t just about subtraction. It’s more like a forced trade. You didn’t know you were making, you lose something sometimes something you really loved, but you almost always gain something too.
The gains are just sneakier. They show up later wearing different clothes, and you have to pay attention to spot them. Let me tell you what I mean. 18 years ago, cancer took away tennis. Four years ago, foot ulcers, put skiing and biking in the maybe never column. Last year, live music became too loud, too uncomfortable, too much.
Each loss felt like losing a piece of my identity. Who am I if I’m not the guy who skis bikes, plays tennis, and follows bands? Then came with the losses I chose. I left my wealth management business. Then in consulting, to be honest, they kinda left me too. Here’s what nobody tells you. Loss forces you into a transition whether you like it or not.
You can’t just lose something and stay the same person. Loss pushes you into that uncomfortable space between what was and what will be between who you were and who you’re becoming. And that requires resilience, real resilience, not bouncing back into who you were. That’s just stubbornness. Real resilience is figuring out who you need to become in response to what happened.
You’re in passage now that messy middle, where nothing feels certain and you don’t get to skip it. For the longest time, I only wrote about loss from one angle. What disappeared, what I couldn’t do, who I wasn’t anymore, but that’s not the whole story. With loss, there’s almost always gain too. And honestly, for my survival, focusing on what I’ve gained versus what I’ve lost makes a lot more sense.
This isn’t toxic positivity. This is practical reality. If you only focus on subtraction, you miss the whole other column. I don’t want to go to live music venues anymore, but technology turned my living room into a concert hall. I control the volume. I discover more new music now than when I was going to shows regularly.
Is it the same as being in a crowd? No. But is it still good? Yeah, actually pretty darn good. The business losses created space for the long, strange trip. This project wouldn’t exist without those losses. I wouldn’t have had the time, the mental space, or desperation to try something completely different.
Loss makes you uncomfortable, and discomfort is where change happens. Here’s the thing, gains from loss are usually different kind from what you lost. You don’t lose tennis and get tennis back. You lose tennis and gain something else. Something you wouldn’t have had room for before. The gains don’t replace what you lost.
They can’t, but they can be valuable in their own right if you let them in. So what I’m learning is that loss and gain aren’t opposites. They’re two sides of the same experience. Every loss contains seeds of gain, and every gain requires some loss, and both force you to transition cycles you didn’t ask for.
The key is paying attention to both. Acknowledging what hurt, watching for what’s emerging. Now this is just one way of looking at loss. There are others. Maybe you see loss differently. Maybe your experience doesn’t match mine. I’d love to hear about it. I want to keep investigating this with you. So let’s figure this out together.
Let me know in the comments below. And oh, by the way, thanks a lot for stopping by today.
